You're not broken. Your past just has the lights on. (Your attachment is a strategy)

Have you ever found yourself waiting for that certain someone to send that certain message, tossing and turning, creating scenarios in your mind?

If you have, stop for a moment and breathe - you are not alone, and you are not the only one.

Your nervous system decided to keep alert, cautiously on the tip of its toes, awaiting the outcome.

Anxious attachment is not a flaw; it's a survival strategy.

At one point in your life, love was like an unstoppable ocean - unpredictable, wild, almost too much to handle.

The closeness was not so close.

But analyzing it for hours, days, months... it still did not do, did it?

Still, you've learned to adapt, neglecting your boundaries, afraid a partner would neglect you if you didn't.

The past has the lights on.

The past sees each possible outcome in trying to protect you.

You must think:

"If I stay up and awake, if I analyze in circles, I will finally be sure."

Anxious attachment is not a form of drama - it is a belief that if you manage to react quickly, you can avoid the upcoming hurt.

What anxious attachment does not notice is that the truth is completely the opposite -

You can not regulate someone's capacity for closeness.

Why are boundaries so hard?

If you grew up with the idea that love means adaptation, then boundaries can feel like a threat. Boundaries are not walls.

They are information.

But for an anxious nervous system, a boundary often sounds like: “If I say what I need, I will be abandoned.”

That’s why boundaries are not learned only through understanding.

They are learned through safety in the body. A somatic truth: the body leads the way.

You can’t “think” your way out of anxious attachment.

Your nervous system needs new experiences: a slower rhythm.

Anxious Attachment: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Without Fear of Losing Connection